day 648

i feel like i might be driving my friends on Facebook crazy. call it "new mom syndrome," but i post a LOT of pictures/videos of my little buddy and i'm sure it's getting old. the problem is that i am so in love with him, i just can't stop. 

yesterday i was at my mum's house for mother's day and i was just staring at sam thinking, "oh my gosh. i am the LUCKIEST person in the UNIVERSE!!! i have YOU as my son." and suddenly i got into "protective mother bear" mode thinking of all the things that could happen to him in his lifetime and how i would do ANYTHING in the world to protect my little boy. 

it's funny how he and i have only been best buds for a little over 3 months and already we are inseparable and have a love for each other that is infinite. well, i imagine he loves me. i feed him at 3 am, dance around the house in my pajamas singing to him, and laugh when he poops on me. how could he not love me?    :)

day 641

this commercial is perfect for two reasons...

1. it (almost) perfectly sums up my life since my last post (scratch bob, insert blake)

2. it is exactly how i intend to update this blog since my last post (i.e. short and to the point)

how else would i be able to sum up the last 129 days? 

so here are the highlights

1. new years eve was BORING. my prime rib was overcooked and we watched a movie. what's worse is we didn't even realize it was midnight when midnight came and passed.

(look at that ginormous belly...)

2. i subbed for the LAST time in my entire life!!!!! halle-freakin-lujah! i mean... oh sad, i'm gonna miss those sweet children... yeah... no. 

3. i had a baby. no biggie.

um, i had a BABY!!!!! yeah, i know. most of you that read this are friends with me on FB, so i imagine that you are already aware of this fact. but in case you feel like reading the lovely birth story (i'll try to shorten it as much as possible), read on. if not skip to #4...

so, there i was. at my doctor's appointment on my due date (feb 7), praying that i'd go into labour right that second so she could just pull him out of me in the middle of the office. nope. i was kinda concerned cos i hadn't felt my little man move very much. not sure if it was cos i was so used to him moving that i didn't notice it anymore or if there was actually a problem. before i could even finish my sentence, my doctor was like, go straight to the hospital. i'm not taking any chances. 

well, alright then. you don't have to tell me twice. 

so, i get to the hospital around 2 pm for a non-stress test where they just monitor the baby to make sure he is alive and well. luckily, he was. all it took was a gallon of cranberry juice for him to start moving around like crazy. already, we have something in common. we love juice. before they let me go, however, they wanted to do an ultrasound to make sure EVERYTHING was okay. well... turns out there wasn't much amniotic fluid around him and my doctor said, sorry dearest, you aren't going home. we're inducing you. to be honest, i was ELATED. only about 1% of me was disappointed since i really wanted him to come "naturally" where i had time to spend at home, breathing, eating snacks, pretending i had the stamina to stick it out drug-free for hours and hours, etc.

but... this was kind of better. i know. courtney, the girl who loves all things natural (well, most things...) and practiced hypnobirthing was now admitted to the hospital (4 pm) under different circumstances. 

(this is getting long isn't it? sorry... just trying to give you a visual... well, not too visual)

so, they plop me in a bed, naked, with a gown 10 times too big hooked up to machines and IVs. that part kind of sucked. blake and i were just hanging out eating pizza watching the monitor tell us that i was having contractions (7 pm)... but i didn't feel anything! it was amazing! until it wasn't anymore (here i thought i was the lucky one)... 

contractions... are not what i thought they would be. i thought they would be like sharp pains in my pelvic region. instead it's like having stomach flu pains that get worse and worse and WORSE. and then they happen for a minute... every 60-90 seconds... and you have to pee, but don't have the energy to sprint to the bathroom in between a contraction so you just hold it... and die. 

so............... i took the drugs. 

yep.

i did. 

first i just took the mild ones around 4 am. i thought, i'm tough (okay, no i'm not), this is all i need to get me through this whole ordeal. 

yeah... those didn't help for very long. i thought, you know what? who am i kidding? i love drugs. i do. don't worry, not the kind you buy behind alleys, just the kind that you buy at CVS that make you feel really good. 

so, i said, BRING ME THE EPIDURAL. blake was like, are you sure? you really wanted to try your best to go natural. nope. not anymore, dearest. this sick-to-my-stomach feeling is making me want to die. i really wish i could help those of you who haven't given birth understand what it feels like. cos i sound like a pansy taking hard core numbing drugs for a "stomach ache." just trust me. 

after only a couple minutes, my new BFF (the anesthesiologist) came in with the miracle solution. 

and it was TRULY a miracle. 

finally, around 9 am, my doctor arrived and was like, you look great. you're a 10. you're ready to push. 

wait, what? push? that's it? i'm almost DONE!?!?!? like, i'm gonna meet my kid any minute now? 

yep. 

well, more like 38 minutes from now. 

and that's how it happened. 38 minutes of easy-peasy (seriously, easiest thing ever) pushing and out popped my gorgeous babe. white hair, no slime, covered in about a million tears from his mum and dad. 

i didn't think i would cry, but seeing that little guy for the first time, plopped on my chest, was the most AMAZING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE. 

there. i'm done boring you with all the details. i'm sure most of you skipped to #4 after you saw how long my "short" version of sam's birth story was. i don't blame you. 

4. i have a newborn... we hang out all day... the end. 

5. probably the second best highlight of february (besides sam) was having my AMAZING family and AWESOME friend, jenjamin, come visit. 

seriously, the best 3 weeks ever. 

jen, my dearest friend of 10 years (i can't believe it's been that long) flew down from portland simply to be my maid servant for the week. she cooked, cleaned, watched my baby so i could go on a date, took care of him so i could sleep for more than an hour, made food for after she left, bought me TONS of baby stuff, and gave me the BEST FACIAL EVER. um, no, you can't have her. she's my friend. 

then, after she left, my ENTIRE family (minus braden, but he's exempt since he's serving a mission) came to visit and be a part of sam's baby blessing. best moment ever. i LOVED having every one of my family members in town to be there at one of the most special times in my life. blake gave an amazing priesthood blessing, full of wonderful promises and council. it was so neat to see all the men in my life (that sounds funny, but you know what i mean) stand around sam in a circle and be a part of this moment in his life. 

we had SO MUCH FUN just hanging out, playing games, watching movies, eating food, taking walks, holding sam, playing with my FAVOURITE niece maddi, etc. 

i stinkin' love my family!!!!!

6. i totally failed in picking this year's NCAA basketball winner. i blame the post pregnancy hormones. they fog up the brain. 

(how long can i use that excuse?)

7. celebrated my two year anniversary! feels like i've been married for 10 years. thoughts about being married for two years...

-year two is WAYYYYY better than year one. 

-my husband can dance like you wouldn't believe (just thought i'd throw that in)

-we can now read each other's thoughts (blake... what am i thinking RIGHT NOW?)

-we made a kid. and he's really cool. 

-we love looking at houses. 

should i have written something really mushy? these are just the first things that popped into my head. haha!

blake surprised me with a trip to alcatraz and a fancy shmancy dinner. i ate seviche and it was so tasty. 

i love my hubbie. 

8. saw florence + the machine with lauren, courtney G., and michelle. 

i wish there were words to describe the greatness of this lady. in a word, she is PERFECT. from head to toe. her voice makes me cry and seeing her in concert with 3 of my lovely friends was one of the best nights of my life. 

9. i spent 3 full days reading all the hunger games books. it took over my life. it still haunts me. even today i kept wondering how peeta and katniss were doing. i kind of love them and am really hoping that there are 3 more books coming out. maybe i'll just go read them again... right now. 

10. blake and i saw coldplay. um... by far, their VERY BEST PERFORMACE EVER!!!!! no joke, i was in the top row of the venue (19,000 people) and even though they looked like specks of dust from that view, it was BRILLIANT!!! even blake was dancing and singing along. many thanks to heather and jake for watching our babe so we could get our ears blown out to "yellow."

11. last, but not least, blake and i (and sam) got to fly out to michigan to visit my dad and grandma. SO. MUCH. FUN!!! it had been forever since we last saw each other, and sam was dying to meet his grandpa, so we flew out there for a bit of R&R. 

highlights? lusting over the $200K mansions (stinkin' midwest), stepping foot in canada (only the punk at the border wouldn't give me a stamp in my passport), enjoying lake huron (more like ocean huron), buying ornaments at the world's largest christmas store (i kid you not- it's the size of 5 football fields... really), seeing a christmas tree covered in peace signs and pizza (are you kidding me?!), and of course, spending time with my dad and grandma! they are so amazing and i'm so glad they got to spend time with sam. 

wow. that whole disclaimer at the top about this being a short post? FAIL. my sincere apologies. i promise i am going to keep this up more often now that i sleep on a semi-regular basis, thus my posts will be much shorter. 

until next time...

day 512

short post...

i'd like to join a book club. most book clubs, however, are made up of 40-somethings who all live in the same town where they sit down, talk about the book they read, and finish up by eating really tasty snacks. 

sadly, most of my friends live far away from me, but i'd still love to discuss a great book and eat tasty snacks. even if i'm eating all by myself. 

so, here's my proposition: if anyone is interested in creating an "online" book club where we can talk about one book a month, i think that would just be swell. i figure one book a month is totally doable and it'll hold me accountable for actually finishing a book. if you want to take pictures of your amazing book club snacks, feel free to upload. 

as far as how we can make this happen, i have no idea. i haven't thought logistics yet. i just wanted to see if anyone was interested. my friends have such wonderful taste in books and i think it'd be a great 2012 goal to accomplish. comment if you're down...

day 511

i like to say i have a pretty eclectic taste when it comes to music, but that's not entirely true. there are a few genres i just can't do: twangy country, scary death metal, ultra dirty hip hop, disney-channel-stars-turned-chart-topping-artists, etc. that's not to say i don't like one or two songs in each of those categories, however i've come to realize that the songs i like are usually the ones everyone else finds really crappy. 

example: my favourite "hip hop" song right now? "rocketeer" by far east movement & ryan tedder. can you even call it hip hop? what's with the digital-sounding voices? doesn't matter- i love it. i could probably listen to it on repeat for 12 straight days...

anyway...

good morning world wide web. it has been 36 days since i last blogged and SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED!!! haha, that's a lie. i just wanted to feel like a lot went on in my life since i last updated you fine people. maybe i bought a house, went skiing for the first time, snuck some sushi, read 38 books, met barack obama, etc. you get the idea. alas, none of that happened. here's what did happen though...

1. i turned 29. sigh. i am now 327 days away from being 30. THIRTY. 3-0. "In your thirties." Three-to-the-ohhhhhhhh, snap.... I'm almost 30. Are you beginning to feel how i feel about this impending day? i know that 30 is the new 20 and it in no way implies i'm old, but... it kinda feels like that. when i think of 30 i think of a few things. my mum. she had 4 kids, lived in a house, and had been married for 11 years by the time she was 30. i also think of people who have PhDs. i dunno why cos most 30 year olds don't have PhDs, but these are the thoughts of my brain... wait, stop. y'know what? i'm 29. when i turn 30, i will finish this conversation. Until then...

2. my child is slowly but surely clawing his way out of my uterus. NOT KIDDING. he kicks (yes, i know this is normal) and kicks, and pushes, and kicks, and beats, and takes my ribs and pulls them from my rib cage to try and cut himself out and enter this gorgeous world. i'm really not opposed to this, however, cos it might mean he'll get his wish and come early, which would be great for the ever-impatient courtney. 

3. xmas happened. yep. i won a cassette tape called "hope" at our left-right (white elephant) party. i ate fabulous potatoes. pretended to xmas carol. spent time with the in-laws. scored some awesome stuff from my loved ones. had an amazing hors d'oeuvres dinner on christmas day. and got to talk to my WONDERFUL and HILARIOUS brothers, elder braden lee and sgt. cameron lee. can i just say i love and miss those boys? i love and miss those boys. they are so funny. braden with his "getting-shot-in-the-nose" story and cameron with his "walk of shame" details kept me laughing for a very, very long time.  

4. i'm seeing coldplay. I'M SEEING COLDPLAY!!!!! some of you might be thinking, "now, courtney. haven't you seen them in concert already? why do you need to see them again? plus, you'll have a new born baby by that time! you're crazy." no, no. i am not. i am a devoted fan. plus, one can never see coldplay enough. if you've seen them live, you would know what i mean. don't worry. i have it all planned out. i've been blessed with a wonderful mum who is taking care of my baby, so i can sit in the very top row (really) at the HP pavilion and be serenaded my chris martin and company. 

5. does anyone have any ideas on how to create and stick to new year's resolutions? i would love your input. each year i have my (long) list and start out okay, but by january 2nd, i've usually failed. then, instead of getting back on the horse, i just think, "well, i already failed. guess that goal is out the window." ugh. help...

alright, my dear friends. off to clean my house and not eat those chocolate covered almonds staring me down... wish me luck.

(my birthday dessert party)

day 475

can i just say something? there is nothing like being 29 weeks pregnant and having to go pee. it is a state of emergency. finding a bathroom before i start to waddle is like finding buried treasure- pure joy! now that we have that out of the way...

HAPPY DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING!!!

wow, i love thanksgiving. not just because of the mashed potatoes and the killer pumpkin bread (if you want the world's most UH-MAZE-ING recipe, ask me. it'll change your life. no, really. it will. i guarantee it), but because everything just feels so warm and fuzzy. literally and figuratively. my mother-in-law's dining room is basically a replica of martha stewart's house (LOVE it!). my father-in-law makes mandarin smoothies (speaking of which- who here is beyond excited for mandarin season? uh, i am!). people hang out and sleep in their snuggies while pretending to watch the boring macy's day parade (admit it- it's totally boring, but it's tradition). i could go on, but you get the point. 

since we're on the thanksgiving topic, i would like to express my gratitude for my friends. i have the world's most awesome friends. i do. i'm sure everyone says that, but sometimes i think i was blessed with extra-special friends. 

for example, i have one friend who sent me a facial in a box. a facial in a box!! how cool is that? another friend has been holding on to a birthday card for 2 years just with the purpose of being sent to me, and it arrived the other day and i loved it. i have another friend who called me on my birthday from a hospital in germany even though she had just given birth less than 48 hours before. i could go on, but then you might get jealous and start asking for their phone numbers and i just wouldn't feel comfortable giving out that information...

when life stinks and things just don't seem to be going your way (and i'm the queen who feels like life is never going her way), it is so nice to have amazing friends (and family!) to remind you of what really matters in life. oh no, is this post turning into a generic hallmark card? yikes. i better stop while i'm ahead...

day 466

good morning world.

i don't want to jinx myself or anything, but pregnancy life has been pretty good lately. minus the sleepless nights, i've been feeling quite... happy! i don't know if it's the hormones or the occasional rain we've been getting, but something has me in a good mood. that's not to say that i've been like the human version of eeyore, but i don't look at my second trimester as the most pleasant time in my life. i'm sure you could tell just based on my day 435 entry. blake probably thinks i'm going crazy cos now all i do is sing at the top of my lungs random songs from "willie wonka and the chocolate factory." sometimes i even dance. 

anyway...

my mum came up with a great idea. we are starting a gratitude journal. or notebook, whatever you want to call it. i thought it was a splendid idea. carry it in your purse and whenever you experience a moment of gratitude or think of something you're grateful for, you jot it down. i think someone mentioned it at church because we're getting closer to thanksgiving, but i want to make this a year-round thing. there are so many things to be grateful for and i think we often get stuck on the same four things: family/friends, health, free country, gospel. 

today, i am grateful for the following: 

1. the heater in my house.

2. chocolate chip cookies

3. living close to my mum

4. my computer

i know, you're probably thinking, "really, courtney? your computer? cookies? how juvenile..." say what you will, but i am so grateful for all these things! they are awesome! this is the part where you think, "yeah, she's right. i sure love cookies." now go dust off that notebook that's been sitting on your nightstand and convert it to a gratitude journal. it'll change the way you look at life, i promise. 

happy monday!

p.s. go read this book

day 460

oh, so many thoughts rumbling around in my head. so many. let's begin, shall we?

1. i've always wanted to eat healthy, but for the longest time, healthy meant eating food that tasted nasty. well, lately i've been trying to find more recipes that are healthy AND taste good. thank you internet, barnes & noble, and the library (and my AMAZING chef friends!) for helping me find some treasures. 

my latest obsession is courtesy of my wonderful mum. she's been telling me the wonders of kale for the longest time and only recently have i taken her advice and finally tried incorporating kale into my diet. 

all i can say is, "why haven't i tried this sooner?!" 

kale-yogurt-banana-berry-OJ smoothie= healthy happiness in a cup. tastes great, easy to make, and gives you tons of nutrients.

love it. 

2. now i must confess something. as i write this, i am eating oreos. nice, huh? here i am professing the greatness of this healthy kale smoothie while eating cookies smothered in lard. the reason i decided to confess, however, is because these oreos aren't as good as they usually are. don't get me wrong. their black and white goodness mixed with ice cold skim milk tastes amazing... until i've eaten a few and the lard mixes with the kale. this makes me think of the scripture mastery scripture matthew 6:24 ("no man can serve two masters")... i suppose i will have to find a new sugary love that isn't quite so yin to my yang smoothie...

3. our landlords don't believe in pest control. i never realized how great pest control is until i moved here. bugs don't normally bother me, but when there is a plethora of them, it starts to get old. 

one of the perks of marrying a man who served his mission in brazil is the built in fly swatter. the man can catch a fly like buster posey can catch a baseball (i.e. he's awesome). only lately he's been passing the garbage can and instead bringing the flies to a spider hanging in our hallway. each day the spider gets bigger and each day i wonder when it is either a) going to burst from too much food, or b) give birth to 2000 baby spiders which will then extend my bug problem. i love you sweetie, but let's find a new pet. sea monkeys? turtle? a goldfish named george?

4. being pregnant is... great. it is. really. i swear. 

okay, i'm half lying. but only HALF. i love getting a front row space at the grocery store that says "for expectant mothers." i love having someone else tie my shoes. i love getting massages more frequently. i LOVE LOVE LOVE feeling my baby move. i love that the kids i sub for are nicer to me cos i'm pregnant. 

do you believe me yet? 

now for the whining...

i am not a fan of the insomnia. i am NOT a fan of feeling twice my size (it makes EVERYTHING i do twice as difficult). i am not a fan of peeing every 30 seconds. did i mention i am not a fan of being twice my size? seriously, that is probably the hardest part. i'm used to being a pretty slender person who can jump and leap and run and hop and do all sorts of things dr. seuss encourages, but now... i feel like i do a 5-point turn every time i get out of bed or off the couch. 

that being said, i would do it all over again and would gladly welcome any other pregnancy-related malady (thank you blake) just to see the face of my gorgeous and amazing son. and yes, i already know he's gorgeous. in case you don't believe me, see here.

p.s. 91 more days. holla!

5. those who know me well know that i am a lady of lists. oooh, i like the sound of that. i can almost here anne of green gables say it as she floats down the river...

anyway, i love making lists and goals. the problem is that i often have too many goals and instead of tackling them one at a time, i get overwhelmed, discouraged, and give up before i even start. 

take scripture reading, for example. i've been meaning to get back into scripture reading for the past... i dunno, 10 years? something like that. but i always want to do it perfectly. read for 30 minutes a day. nay, STUDY for 30 minutes a day. search. ponder. pray. cross reference with my institute manual. compare with the most recent general conference talks. 

do you see where i'm going? it's easy to see why i give up with such high expectations.

so, i changed my strategy. i found this article that said if you do something for 21 days, the habit will stick. 

so, my goal became to read the scriptures every day. no certain amount. no specific book. no specific time. just read. really? that easy? yes, courtney. that easy. 

what do you know- it seems to be working. i figure everything in life is taken in steps. my first step: read everyday. my next step? i don't know yet. probably read for 15 minutes. after that? we shall see. 

6. winco foods makes me laugh. specifically the store in elk grove. when people are hungry, they just grab something from the aisle, start eating, and the return it when they're done.

("oops. i thought this was a golden delicious.")

("crap. it's frozen. put it back.")

(PBJ anyone?)

(everybody's favourite snack: milk and cereal)

(i love the sign: "no sampling please")

that's all for today. tune in tomorrow for more thoughts. well, tomorrow is unlikely since i only update this every month or so, but it's on my list...   :)